Narration: Deep in the archives of Xavier Media, danger lurks among legacy documentation...
FBE: "Just one more inch... got it!"

SFX: SMACK!
FBE: "SYSTEM FAULT. BOOTLOADER SAD."

Ryqn: "No wonder you freeze every time someone says 'ActiveSync.'"

Ryqn: "Let’s upgrade you with a Pi. Goodbye WinCE, hello Linux!"
FBE (dim voice): "Tell... Windows... I loved her..."

Bylla: "Did someone say AmigaOS?!"

Bylla: "This museum piece will boot Workbench if it kills me!"

Bylla: "Kickstart ROM... check! Floppy disk image... triple check!"
Amanda (off-panel): "You know it doesn’t actually need a floppy drive, right?"

Amanda: "You're the only person I know who installs an OS with a soldering iron."
Bylla: "It builds character."

FBE: "Now running Debian. Memory: 2GB. Ego: unlimited."

Ryqn: "Welcome to the modern world. SSH access is passwordless, right?"
FBE: "Only for you, sudo master."

Bylla: "Runs like it’s 1987! Listen to that glorious Paula audio chip emulation."
Amanda: "You have weird hobbies."

Narration: In a world of updates and upgrades, sometimes the legacy lives on...

FBE: "Bylla, your OS just had a nervous breakdown."
Bylla: "That’s how you know it’s authentic."