Amanda: "Why are we still using Rocketmail?"
FBE: "Legacy support for Atlantean POP3 protocols."
Bylla: "What’s next? ICQ alerts?"

Librarian: "We can’t access ‘C’ through ‘F’—the crab census is gone!"
Ryqn: "Wait… this thing’s still running Netscape 3.0?"
Amanda: "And the stylesheet is written in Blink tags…"

List Ping: "They’re better than I thought… we’ll try Server 43 next time."

Marcus: "They encrypted it in Commodore BASIC? Retro, but rude."
Amanda: "And yet somehow more readable than Python 3.12."

FBE: "Time to fight retro with retro-er."
Ryqn: "What’s this logo, a boomerang?"
Bylla: "It’s not just a computer. It’s Workbench 3.1. With GUI and attitude."

Marcus: "Launching anti-ransom daemon... via FTP."
Bylla: "Not SFTP?"
Marcus: "Nah. Stylishly Flawed Transfer Protocol."

Terminal:
ERROR: SYS/42 not found
Reboot into safe mode?
[Y/N]
List Ping: "Noooooo! Not the Amiga... I forgot to test for 68030 CPUs!"

Queen: "The Yahoo Directory lives on."
Amanda: "Until someone updates to GeoCities."
FBE: "Or worse... Google Sites."

Terminal: _> run listping-next.bat
Voiceover: "Time to rewrite... in JavaScript."